Friday, June 18, 2010

Move On

"True Ravi. We have to forgive ourselves to live and carry on with life. There is something I want to tell you out of my experience. Life continues, irrespective of who stays with you or who leaves you. We have to go on putting things and people behind. But we should never forget those who gave us our life. We should never forget those who made you the person you are. Which is why I thank you Ravi. I am, what I am now only because of you. I have learnt to live life the hard way. I have learnt to take up challenges. If not for you I dont know where I would have been today. You are the best and the worst thing that ever happened in my life.....Thank you for everything."

I have received the above comment from an anonymous visitor on my blog today morning in connection with what i blogged two and half years ago. Incidentally that was the last time when i blogged. The comment made me reflect on my state of mind, belief and value systems at that point in time which made me realise how they have changed over the past two and half years, which changes my whole perspective now towards what i wrote then."

What I wrote then is here "Women always made me wonder about their ability to love so consistantly and unconditionally, even when they are hurt, when there is no hope, when their beloved is falling apart, in times of turmoil, trauma. As far as myself, I am just learning to forgive myself, again and again and again and again, over and over. I realise that is so essential to be able to live and carry on with life. Forgive thyself."

I hope none of you are taken aback when i talked about changing value and belief systems and if anyone of you were that is purely due to the pre programming of an illusion that you have not grown out of, of an unchanging value and belief system all through your life. Wake up and smell the coffee beans.

While I still believe in the first part of the statement about my wonderment towards women's ability to love unconditionally(?) during highs and lows, the bad news is I do not believe any more in forgiving myself for anything. What i wrote then, was only reflective of my mood and what i perceived to be a wrong thing on my part and hence the forgiving thing.

I have realised in my life that there is nothing called right or wrong, nothing called a commitment, promise or word given. There is only one thing, which is "Ones own priorities", towards which every human being works and in this process everything else they have said or did contrary to what those priorities demand becomes null and void. Priorities are physical or emotional, whatever they are this rule fundamentally prevails.

I agree to what the commenter wrote about leaving people and things behind and moving on in life, although my perspective does not have any sadness attached to it unlike the author's. There is no reason for melancholy in moving on in life for the sheer reason life is too precious to be lost in gloominess in the memory of someone who becomes so unimportant the moment you meet someone (and you WILL meet someone, trust me :))who will suddenly make your life into motley colourful. It is not some kind of prophecy that you WILL find someone but truth, for the sheer reason that we all try to find happiness in our everyday and every step of life and in that process we will discover or stumble on that person.

The later part of the comment, about me being the reason for whatever that person is today and me being the best and worst things (what an oxymoron?!) in his/her life is a little premature. I do not know what i have done to make that person feel so grateful to thank me for whatever i turned him/her into. I think what we are is an innate thing and influenced by multiple things in our life over a period of time. Its kind of hard for me to comprehend that someone can have such a metamorphic change on someone else that you owe everything that you are to a single person. All I can say is looks like you have not seen life after me kiddo! MOVE ON!